![]() ![]() But parenting may be the most contradictory subject of them all! The further I get into this parenting gig, the more I realize how much gray area there is to raising a child. We have shifted the focus away from achievement, and are concentrating our efforts on emphasizing what truly matters: that the child is engaged and growing.Ĭustomizable MOVIE TICKET SYSTEM to Reduce & Vary Your Child’s “Screen Time” (printable pdf included!)Īll that being said, today’s post may seem like a complete contradiction. By removing the bulk of extrinsic rewards, we have given back to the child his or her right to the simple and intrinsic satisfaction of the activity or subject itself. We are encouraged by many childhood development experts to replace the “gold star” techniques with simple verbal feedback acknowledging progress and noticing detail: “I see you are using a lot of blue in your drawing” rather than the vague “good job!” or “your handwriting has improved so much from the beginning of the school year.” Overall, I think this shift is a very good one. Then again, for those of us with wild children running around our homes, “enslaving” their souls may not sound half bad when we are at our absolute wit’s end.Īll joking aside, our movement away from rewards at home and at school allows for a stronger emphasis on effort and attitude, and a gentler focus on achievement. Maria Montessori even went as far as to say that rewards “are a means of enslaving a child’s soul.” This may be a somewhat dramatic take, but I believe it to be foundationally true. I’m almost always late to everything), the shift is mainly founded on the belief that rewards and excessive praise rob the child of the natural and inherent satisfaction of engaging in the activity or task at hand purely on the basis of it’s own merit. If you are late to the party (no worries. “up-to-date” on their child-development literature. often to the chagrin of those who are more. You could say that the gold star is “out.” Of course, many parents and teachers still use these methods. In the 21st century, rewards at home and at school are largely frowned upon by parenting experts. HOMEMADE CANDY TUTORIAL: 3-ingredient Gummies, & 4-ingredient Chocolate Date “Snickers” Eggs There have been a few key changes (not all of them good) in the past couple of decades leading up to our modern age of parenting, starting with our view of high fructose corn syrup. If you recall, rewards were all the rage in the 80’s and 90’s “Praise Age of Parenting.” Sticker charts and prize buckets abounded in most homes and classrooms, and gold stars were doled out almost as generously as all those blow pops, and ring pops, and bottle pops that accounted for an entire food group in so many of our diets as children. I do not recommend for kids who readily grab a book and read. Please note: this system is designed specifically for RELUCTANT READERS. ![]()
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